About you now
by l'ange-de-feu
Summary: okay first songfic. sugababes about you now & Sarah mclachan Fallen...and 3 new songs in chapter 3! Kinda lied bout the whole only two chapters thing...there is a third! Taiora!
1. about you now

Well since am kinda in the middle of writing my next chappie for "of gypsies and demons" I decided to give you guys a lil' treat. I've never done a songfic before…so this is my first. I've had the idea in my head for like months (ever since this song was released and shot straight to number 1 here in Britain!!!) so I thought I better get this out there. I'm also thinking of doing the next chapter with Rhianna- Umbrella. That's been stuck in my head too lol. I have a lot of idea's floatin round in ma head…it's jus that I'm too lazy to write them lmfao!!!

The song is Sugababes- About You Now…if you haven't heard it… go get it…it's so catchy!

(B.T.W. I made a guess that the whole Christmas abomination/fiasco happened when they were 15…I'm not sure…just a guess really. So in the present they're around 18 the older ones like Tai and Sor.)

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About You Now

"He's leaving Sora… he's going to New York. Big bro is leaving." A pair of dark russet eyes bored into her, deep into her soul. They could emphasize any pain to such a degree, you could feel it yourself. She had to admit it… Kari had Bambi eyes. Big, brown, dewy, soul searching Bambi eyes. She sighed, Kari knew exactly what she was thinking. Another voice piped up in the background. She turned to meet a pair of cinnamon coloured eyes: "What are you gonna do Sor?"

"Mimi…there's nothing I can do. I broke his heart 3 years ago…it's not like he still feels the same way. Plus maybe he didn't really feel **that** way, maybe it was just a crush. Even if I told him, it's not like he's gonna cancel all his plans and give up on his future for me. God I'm so stupid." Tears flowed freely now.

"Of course he felt **that** way. He loved you with all his heart Sor, and I'm sure he still does." No matter what Kari said, it just couldn't lift her spirits.

_It was so easy that night  
Should've been strong  
Yeah I lied  
Nobody gets me like you_

_  
_It was all her fault, she should have told him. Back then everything had seemed so simple. Love was just a notion, a simple crush. Sure she was the guardian of love, but they were young…it wasn't a serious feeling. Or so she thought.

_  
Couldn't keep hold of you then  
How could I know what you meant  
There was nothing to compare too_

_  
_Now looking back, she realised how much of a total prat she had been. She had turned down Tai, on Christmas for his best friend…for a relationship that only lasted a year…followed by three other guys…which also didn't work out. Only now she realises he was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Tai was everything to her: saviour, best friend, eye candy and comedian during art class last year and personal comforter…god she was so stupid. He had put his heart on the line and she had stamped all over it.

_  
I know everything changes  
All the cities and faces  
But I know how I feel  
About you  
_

"Sora! Get over it! So what?! You broke his heart, well go and piece it back together again! Kari's right he does love you. We've all seen it. The way he looks at you. He trusts your decision in moments of doubt. You're one of the only one's who can calm him down when he completely loses it. Like…remember the time he totally freaked when Davis made a move on Kari: 'well Kari, if you need a place to "sleep" I got a new bed that needs breaking in…if you know what I mean'" Sora smiled as Yolei did her best impression of Davis in full on flirt mode, before thinking back to Tai nearly lynching him.

"Oh god Yolei! I was trying to forget." Kari groaned into her hands.

"Who could forget Kari? Especially Tai's colourful insults. What was it again…? Oh: 'you dirty little douche bag. You little perv. I'm gonna crucify your ass! Am gonna lynch you by your balls, from the top of Tokyo tower, before letting Wargreymon toast ya!' ah, good times." Mimi giggled.

Yolei piped up with more input, using an almost mocking voice when describing Sora's actions. "Remember Sor? You had to help the boys pin him down. If I remember rightly, you were the one with him in a headlock running your fingers through his hair telling him soothing words like 'he's joking Tai. Kill him later. Trust me he won't bother. He knows exactly what'll happen if he does…just chill.' And once again, if I remember so, he calmed down instantly after this. If any of us did that he would have been halfway up Tokyo tower carrying out his threats regardless whether we were still holding on or not. Admit it Sor…you seduced his behind. Now go do it again! Run to him, block his path, stop his flight! Anything!"

"Yolei…I….i couldn't…I…"

"Sure you could Sor hun!" Mimi squealed, moving over to Sora and gently gripping her shoulders, looking her straight in the eye. "you'll run to him. By the time you get there, you'll be bedraggled and slightly sweaty…but in a sexy way…and you'll run straight in front of him, with tears cascading down your face. He'll ask you 'what's wrong?' in a husky voice…and you'll completely cave. You fall against him and in a sultry breathy whispering voice, you'll let it all out. You'll tell him everything! Your every feeling, every thought and you'll end it with; 'I love you Tai, I always have and always will.' Then he'll scoop you up in his arms and passionately kiss you. He'll tear up those airline tickets and say in a sexy whisper 'screw New York' before carrying you off to his apartment. Then later…and this is where it gets really sexy…"

"Mimi…I think Sora gets it."

"How so Kari?"

"She left after 'passionately kiss you'"

In a flash the three girls shot the window, staring 3 floors down into the busy rainy street as a fiery red head tore up the pavement in long, gazelle-like strides regardless of her bare feet.

"Go Sora go!!!"

"Wooooooooot! Go baby go!"

"Run Sora, run like the wind! Go seduce the ass of that guy!"

"Go make him wish he never even dreamt of New York!"

Once she was out of sight they receded back into the warmth and dryness of Kari's room.

"Mimi, that lil' speech before…?"

"Yeah?"

"…You've been reading waaaaay to many romance novels."

"Yolei's right Meems. I'm glad you didn't finish your last sentence." Kari smirked.

"Why? I was only going to talk 'bout how they're gonna have wild and passionate sex and…"

"MIMI!!!"

_  
There's a mountain between us  
But there's one thing i'm sure of  
That I know how I feel  
About you_

She ran like hell was behind her. It sure did feel like it too. Her feet were burning. _Note to self; have shoes at the ready when Mimi starts her romantic speeches. Wet sidewalk hurts bare feet. _The run to the airport (2 ½ miles) felt like a marathon. The sloping side walk felt like a mountain and the rain like bullets. She was soaked. Well…Mimi was right about the whole looking bedraggled. Her red tank top was plastered to her chest, the lace of her bra showing at the top, whilst the non lacy part, which was conveniently chocolate brown, was now showing through slightly more than usual. The beige knitted bolero had slipped down her shoulders and was hanging at her elbows, and her plaid skirt was riding up slightly at the back, revealing her knickers (much to the enjoyment of every man on the street.)

__

Can we bring yesterday  
Back around  
Cause I know how I feel  
About you now  
I was dumb I was wrong  
I let you down  
But I know how I feel  
About you now

Score so far;

Rain - 3 Sora- nil

Pedestrians- nil Sora- 8 (1 knockdown, 2 spilt coffees, 1 scatted newspaper and 4 café customers plus table climbed over and totalled.)

Sidewalk- 20 Feet- nil

_I'm in agony here. If I had just told Tai how I felt 3 years ago I wouldn't be doing this. Makes you wish you could turn back time._

Slight change to previous score:

Pedestrians- nil Sora- 9 ….businessman and briefcase bite the dust.

_All that it takes  
One more chance  
Don't let our last kiss  
Be our last  
Give me tonight and I'll show you_

_  
_Walking round the airport seating area, Tai couldn't help but think of her. God he'd miss that red headed beauty. Her smile, her eyes, her voice. He truly did love her. But obviously she didn't think the same way. She'd be happier this way, without him threatening all her new boyfriends, distracting her, wasting her time. __

I know everything changes  
I don't care where it takes us  
Cause I know how I feel  
About you  


"Hey sweetness. Wanna lift?" Some prick in a Porsche pulled alongside Sora as she thundered on. Her feet were cut and her legs aching…just dying for carpeted floors, leather appulstry, a heater system…a nice dry Porsche would do the trick. However the driver was dying for something as well, something (judging by the look on his face) he hadn't got in a long time. _Loser. I'd rather run, thus permanently damaging my feet and end up as Joe's first amputee. _

"I'm okay thanks!" she smiled sweetly, not letting up her pace.

"Oh come on sweet-cheeks, your tired."

"I'll only get your lovely leather seats all wet."

"Oh I bet you would." A sleazy smirk crossed his face, as he imagined something rather lewd.

_Oh ewww! I walked right into that innuendo. Sick perv._

"Come on…we'll have fun. You'll soon dry off." His eyebrows moved up and down in a suggestive way. _Oh that is it! _

"You know what? Screw this!" turning towards the driver, she lifted her top and bra swiftly, flashing the pervert driver an eyeful. The shock and beautiful sight caused the driver's concentration to lapse and steering wheel to swerve, thus hitting a streetlamp. _Score! _With a flick of her middle finger salute, she was away again after marvelling at her handiwork. __

Can we bring yesterday  
Back around  
Cause I know how I feel  
About you now  
I was dumb I was wrong  
I let you down  
But I know how I feel  
About you now  


Not much left to go. Nearly there, just the parking lot, foyer and check in to manoeuvre. Sora managed to get halfway down the double-soccer-pitch-sized parking lot, without a car coming within radius or having to slow down. However closer to the airport was chaos. Cars fought and jostled for spaces. People were racing for spaces and Sora ended up vaulting the bonnet of a Dodge pickup. After 3 near misses (one bus, 2 cabs driving waaaaay above the speed limit.) several run-ins with luggage trolleys and a few irate stewards, she made it to check in. _New York? New York? Where the frick is…New York! Bingo! _Speeding towards the New York check in desk, she caught a sight for sore eyes. A mass of wild, chocolate brown hair towering above the crowd. It was at this point that Sora thanked Tai for being blessed with a natural height advantage of 6'2" plus the addition of his bushy mop, made him an unmistakable sight.

He was waiting in the seating area, pacing the floor impatiently. Sora had to admit. He was pretty darn hot. He wore a simple black button down shirt (3 buttons undone at the top granting the world a good ol' peek at that muscled chest of his.) a pair of torn (and bleached in places thanks to Miko and the laundry incident.) jeans and a pair of tan Timberlands.

"Tai! Tai! TAI!!!"

_  
Not a day passed me by  
Not a day passed me by  
That I don't think about you  
And there's no moving on  
Cause I know you're the one  
And I can't be without you  
_

"Sora? Sor, what are you doing here? And what the hell happened to you? Sora! Your feet are…"

"It doesn't matter about me! What matters is you! You're leaving! You can't do that, you can't leave us…you can't leave me…" Tears welled up in her eyes as she spoke. "Tai please don't leave. We can't lose you. I can't lose you!"

"Sora…this is…something I have to do." He turned his face away, avoiding her eyes. "I have to leave…for my sakes."

"Please Tai, don't leave." She flung her self at him, clinging on to his shirt and burying her face into his chest. "I can't lose you. I can't live without you! I…I love…you."

"Now you tell me this?! How come you didn't tell me this 3 years ago?" he pushed her away from him, anger rising. "Why? Cos' you where too busy telling this to Matt! Sora… I'm just a burden to you…all I do is distract you from important things, beat up your new boyfriends and distracting you. The only thing I'm good for in your life, is comfort when they cheat on you, or dump you…because the thing is Sora…you're shit at pickin' who you give your emotions to. You probably tell every guy you have crush on 'I love you'"

"But Tai I…"

"No Sora! Real love is what I felt for you, what I tried to give you, but no. you crushed it into the ground. What you're telling me now, isn't real love." His face lost it's angry façade, turning to regret and sadness. "Goodbye Sora." He picked up his luggage and turned preparing for boarding.

Something in Sora snapped. How dare he?! How dare he say that?!

"So…that's it huh? You're gonna runaway? Run from me, from those who love you? Just because I'm a stupid worthless bitch?!" she screamed at him her lungs aching from all the heavy breathing after her run.

Tai turned back round in shock.

"Now I never said that…"

"No? really? Cos' it felt like it did. It felt like you literally told me that I'm not worthy of love! That's what it feels like." Tears poured from her eyes, smudging her mascara even more. "Yes I was wrong to fall for all those other guys. I wish I could bring yesterday back around. I was dumb, I was wrong and most importantly I let you down. But I know...I know how I feel about you now."

_  
Can we bring yesterday  
Back around  
Cause I know how I feel  
About you now  
I was dumb I was wrong  
I let you down  
But I know how I feel  
About you now  
_

"But I'll be damned if you're the one to tell me it's not love! Do you know what I went through for you now? Do you know how much frickin' pain I'm in right now? All of it for you. You obviously don't know, so I'll tell you. I ran 2 miles, full sprint, bare footed. I ran through freezing rain, broken glass and still lit cigarettes that weren't quite put out. I took out 9 pedestrians for you. I was followed by some pervert in a Porsche who wanted some, for about two blocks…for you. He crashed his car into a lamp post because I flashed him my breasts, once again for you. I ran through that death trap of a parking lot, I had 3 near misses one of which was **too** close for comfort." Sora pointed to a rather large bruise on her calf where the cab's bumper had hit. "I jumped over luggage trolleys, fought through crowds and dodged stewards just for you. I am in so much physical pain right now; I have glass and cigarette buts stuck in my feet. But the agony is nothing compared to the agony in this heart."

Her voice was broken up by sobs, causing her whole body to shake uncontrollably. She felt weak and frail, completely laid bare in front of this young man. She didn't care she would pour her whole heart out for this boy. She loved him and he couldn't deny her that.

"Tell me I'm a liar, tell me that what I feel isn't love. Go on, believe what you want, but I know what I feel. Do you really think I would go through all this is if it was 'just a crush'?"

Tai was speechless, he had never seen her so angry…so hurt. She was in so much pain…mentally and physically. She looked at collapsing point, but she went on.

"Goodbye Taichi. I hope one day you realise how much I love you. Oh! And before I go. You wanna know something? Something I've never told **anyone**. I'm still a virgin. And guess who I was saving it for." And with that she turned and walked off. As Sora walked away, she told herself; _I won't be weak. I won't admit defeat. I wish I could go back to 3 years ago…but life doesn't work that way. I have to stay strong. Walk away._

He watched her walk away, she swayed dangerously. He watched her leave behind footprints of dirt and more worryingly blood, where she had stood arguing, a large pool of blood had accumulated.

_  
Can we bring yesterday  
Back around  
Cause I know how I feel  
About you now  
I was dumb I was wrong  
I let you down  
But I know how I feel  
About you now  
_

_She must be barely conscious. What had she put herself through…and just for me. She… she…she saved it…her innocence so to speak…for me. _ His mind ticked overtime as she walked out of sight amongst the constant throng of people. He stood there a good minute, before he noticed that a check in stewardess was furiously tapping on his shoulder.

"What!" he had completely lost it now. He had no clue what he was gonna do, how this was gonna end. He had broken her heart. He had told himself all those years ago, when she broke his, he would never stoop to that level. He would not break that girls heart. And yet…he had just done that. What had he done? _  
But I know how I feel  
About you now  
_

Sora had reached the airport doors, and back into the rain. She had been approached by many people, trying to assist her, at one point the whole medical staff had come to her aid, only to be brushed off and pushed away. The agony, the coldness, dampness, it had all become numb to her. It was there she just didn't notice it above the screaming of her heart. How it ached for him, screamed for him. But it was of no use. He would never be hers.

"Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I tell him 3 years ago. It's no use now. Tai…I know how I feel now." She called out as her knees gave way and she sank to the pavement, the rain soaking her once more.

_  
Yet I know how I feel  
About you now_


	2. Fallen

Okay…so I lied. There won't be two chapters…there'll be three…lol! I was listening to this song…and another one actually…and it fit so well…so did the other actually… meh! Anyhoo. Here is chapter two…Fallen.

I do not own Digimon or Sarah Mclachan's Fallen

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People rushed around her…pulling at her, talking to her, one woman was frantic. She found it oddly amusing. The pain was numb to her right now…she felt nothing. Only the dull thud of a broken heart resonated around her ears. The world around her was muted and seemed to be in slow motion. They were all making such a fuss over nothing. Panicking over a few cuts on her feet…her heart hurt more. God she was stupid…delirious and stupid. She smiled at the blurred faces and to be honest…found them quite funny. How she could laugh at a time like this, when she had lost the love of her life, she'd never know. Probably due to lack of blood. Meh, go figure. An ambulance pulled up, but to Sora, it made no difference. It wasn't Tai. God she felt sleepy. Maybe she'd have a nap…everything will be fine after a little sleep…everything will be just wonderfull…

"Sweetie can you hear me? Don't fall asleep, you've lost far too much blood… try to keep awake honey…Squeeze my hand. Hold it real tight hun." _Damn paramedics, why can't I sleep? I'm gonna…have to…sleep. So…screw you._

_Heaven bent to take my hand  
And lead me through the fire  
Be the long awaited answer  
To a long and painful fight_

"She's blacked out! Load her up guys! Fast as possible! She's lost a lot of blood!"

_  
Truth be told I've tried my best  
But somewhere along the way  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
And the cost was so much more than I could bear _

_Matt, Jameson, Matsuo…god the list of failed relationships goes on. Tai can't even be added to the list…that relationship never started, never mind fail. Why didn't I tell him all those years ago? Why didn't I tell him? I'm so stupid. Truth be told I tried my best. I got caught up in all the others there was to offer. And the cost is so much more than I can bear. God…Tai._

"Has all the glass been removed?"

"Yes and the wound has been sterilised too."

"Dress it and find her a bed…she needs all the rest she can get. Poor kid…heaven knows what she's just been through. What ever she was doing she certainly tried hard enough I'd say. She looks like she's run a marathon. Tried so hard…fell so far."

_Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...  
_

"OH MY GOD SORA!"

"Excuse me miss? You know this girl?"

"Yes I know her, she's my best friend! She's practically my sister!!!"

"Well miss, you are entitled to visit her, but would you mind keeping your voice down. She needs her rest."

"Oh yes of course. Sorry!"

_Who the hell is Foghorn Leghorn out there? Does she need to talk so loud? god! Some of us are trying to sleep. Trying…more like failing…guess it's time to face the land of the living._

"Foghorn Leghorn" was talking away at several miles a second, to two barely listening girls when Sora awoke.

"OH MY GOSH, SORA! YOU'RE AWAKE!" "Foghorn Leghorn" flung herself at the frail, newly awakened girl in a fast talking frenzy.

"Mimi…hi! I'm okay…"

"Sora you're not!"

"No seriously…I am. But if you don't let go of my neck that won't be the case." The girl gasped out.

"Oh my god sorry!"

_  
We all begin with good intent  
Love was raw and young  
We believed that we could change ourselves  
The past could be undone   
But we carry on our backs the burden  
Time always reveals  
The lonely light of morning  
The wound that would not heal  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything  
That I have held so dear.  
_

She peered around the room, hoping to see a familiar figure. But none reached her attention.

"He's not here Sor. I'm sorry" the younger brunette, who stood on the other side of Sora's bed spoke quietly with respect and resent. She squeezed her hand gently.

"Oh. It's…okay Kari."

"No Sora, it's not okay!" the lavender haired girl at the foot of her bed spoke with malice tainting her voice.

"The prick should be here!"

"No Yolei. Really it's okay…"

"We rang the idiot up you know! We told him that you were in the hospital, and that you had lost blood and that it was because you did it for him and…"

"Yolei…it's okay" The red head sitting amongst the bed sheets smiled sadly before looking down at her hands.

"Oh Sora!" Mimi, Kari and Yolei all hugged her at that moment, tears pricked their eyes.

"Why was I possessed with such an insensitive brother" Kari wailed.

_  
I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up   
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...  
_

"No Kari. You were possessed with a handsome, sweet, caring brother who didn't want his heart broken again. You were however, possessed with a very stupid friend." Tears flowed freely from her eyes now, no barriers in place.

"He should be here, not in fecking New York Sora! He knows you're hurt, that you're in hospital. We told him how much blood you lost… for him…for him! He knows how many time you blacked out for heaven's sakes! He should be here, by your side. Like a friend should do! Like a lover should do!" Mimi wailed through sobs, stroking the red head's hair.

"But he's not a lover Mimi, and I doubt he's a friend anymore. I don't blame him. He deserves better than me."

_  
Heaven bent to take my hand  
Nowhere left to turn  
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know  
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed  
Pretend that they don't see   
But it's one missed step  
You'll slip before you know it  
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed  
_

"Now that's not true Sora. He knows he'd have a good deal going on here if her had you. God! I mean you're a fab cook so he'd get free meals that actually tasted good, you're smart, so you're like an instant calculator/dictionary/computer. And then ther's the sex…" Yolei joked through her tears. A door opened and a young doctor with raven black hair and silver rimmed glasses entered clasping a clipboard.

"Well ladies. Visit's over I'm afraid. Sora needs her rest and you all need tissues. Plus I'd like to check up on my patient."

"Yes Doctor Joe." All three girls replied in unison, a sickly sweet voice coated their words. They each lent up an gave him a small peck on the cheek.

"Look after Red for us Joe."

"Yeah that's my unofficial big sis!" the girls said their goodbyes before leaving the doctor with his patient.

"Running two miles through the busiest streets, in bare feet none the less! We found glass, cigarette butts and gravel in those feet of yours Sora! And we nearly didn't find any blood, if you had kept walking round without accepting assistance. You were very lucky, you lost a hell of a lot of energy alone just from running. Along with the serious loss of blood…well…we could of lost you Sor." his face gentled at the last part of his mock rant at her.

"But I lost him Joe." She cracked, the tears cascaded down as Joe sat at the edge of her bed.

"You haven't lost him Sora. Not for good. He'll be back. The jerk however shouldn't have even considered leaving in the first place!" Sora giggled a little at the spectacled man's comment. She sat silently staring at her hands. _Tai. _Joe however carried on his little tirade about the mentioned boy's actions.

"What I can't believe is that he was so cold to you. That he just left. I'd expect him to be here. I'd of thought he would have done the whole romance scene of scooping you up into his arms when you told him how you felt. But I guess…not so. Well it looks like I'm all finished up here. You get your rest and I'll be back in a few hours to check on you." He ruffled the girl's hair before exiting through the walnut door of the patient's room. _Poor Sora. She's like a sister to all of us, she protected and cared for us all. The guardian of love, and yet here she is heartbroken. Sure, I'd expect it from one of those other dead end boyfriends…maybe not Matt…but I'd never expect it from Tai. Especially with her in that condition. You'd expect him to at least insist she got those cuts treated. Love truly is an oddity. _He sighed, scribbling a note down on the clipboard before carrying on with his rounds.

_  
Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here   
And tell me I told you so..._

"_Tai…I'm so sorry. I… I wish I'd…I'd told you sooner. But it's not a crush. I really do love you…and I …I miss you."_

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Well there we go kids. A bit short I know but…there's chapter two of three. I promise this time definitely only three!

Read and review please. Please. And I'll try to update a.s.a.p.

Kisses for all! Mwahhh x x x x x


	3. Better in time

Okay so here it is… the final chapter

Okay so here it is… the final chapter. I really am sorry for the delay, I'm workin on the whole swiftness issue…I said working…therefore…might… not… happen. Meh…as I, the French, and Bandgeek99 say… "C'est la vie!"

I do not own Digimon (gutter in it?)or Leona Lewis' "Better in Time", Vanessa Carlton's "Rinse" and Nelly Furtado's "Try"….as I said before…gutter.

I didn't use "Umbrella" this time…but I will. That's my next fic, SO NO STEALING MY IDEA!! Thank you

Well on with the slightly delayed show!!

She rolled over for what seemed like the hundredth time. It was 10am and she was stuck in bed. Bed rest they called it…more like bed torment. She was bored, depressed, tired, had a bad case of insomnia and most importantly…a broken heart. Life truly was a bitch. It tormented her causing her daydreams to become nightmares, and normal 'nocturnal' dreams were non-existent… probably because she couldn't sleep.

_It's been the longest winter without you  
I didn't know where to turn to  
See somehow I can't forget you  
After all that we've been through_

Going coming thought I heard a knock  
Who's there no one  
Thinking that I deserve it  
Now I realise that I really didn't know  
If you didn't notice you mean everything  
Quickly I'm learning to love again  
All I know is I'm gonna be ok  
__

She had been dispatched from hospital two days ago and confined to 'bed rest' -air quotation marks used in the most sarcastic way as possible. She had a constant barrage of 'well-wishers' who came waltzing through her door, asking her if she was okay…how did she feel…was she keeping to the rules (no leaving bed unless necessary. E.g. bathroom, and in the case that no-one was there to help…food.) and as the questions kept coming, the responses became more sarcastic and more bitchy. _"Oh yeah I'm fine. 'Cos losing the love of your life because you were too blind to see it, happens to be the easiest thing to go through Yolei. No Matt, really it doesn't hurt if you sit on my heavily bandaged foot. I mean the gauze is just for show really. No Joe…I am not frickin 'okay'! Tai is gone. I can't sleep. I'm confined to my bed, even though I can't sleep. Everyone keeps patronizing me, asking stupid questions that they already know the answer to…I just can't take it anymore!!  
_

_Thought I couldn't live without you  
It's gonna hurt when it heals too  
It'll all get better in time  
And even though I really love you  
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to  
It'll all get better in time  
_

Rolling over for the fifty third time, Sora finally gave up on trying to sleep. Throwing back her bed covers, she sat up on the edge of the bed, staring down at her feet. They were still bandaged up, however not so many layers now. They still hurt a bit, but it was a dull tingle now compared with the mind numbing pain that they burned with 4 days ago. 4 days…she had been without him for 4 days. It felt like a lifetime. It wasn't like they were a couple…but she still loved him, with every fibre of her being. And god, was it torment for her…to lie there…insomniatic…with the only thing to occupy her being an Ipod that contained various songs that brought back very painful memories. She stood up, ignoring the dreary thudding pain in the soles of her feet, making her way over to the full length mirror on the back of her door. A gaunt face stared back at her, eyes emotionless. She looked pale and her full lips were washed out and cracked. _Some beauty I look now. _She smirked sarcastically at her reflection, before glancing back at her bedside table. There, sitting beside her alarm clock was a framed picture. Two children smiled back at her from behind the glass. Their faces seemed to taunt her, laughing at her for being so stupid. One child, was her…only younger, brighter…happier. Her face glowed and a joyous smile lit up her face. The other child had a wild mop of chestnut hair atop his head and a huge grin plastered across his tanned face. Tai

_  
I couldn't turn on the TV  
Without something there to remind me  
Was it all that easy  
To just put aside your feelings_

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh  
Hurt my feelings but that's the path  
I believe in  
And I know that time will heal it  
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything  
Quickly I'm learning to love again  
All I know is I'm gonna be ok

She turned away sadly from the picture. She couldn't bear to look at it, it hurt so much. Turning tearfully away from the bedside table, she grabbed a fresh towel from a drawer, along with some underwear. She opened the door of her room and, with one last sad glance at the photo, she exited the room. As she entered the bright living room, she shaded her eyes from the shafts of light that filtered through the window blinds. The rain had stopped. Sighing, she turned to make her way to the bathroom, yet stopped. Her gaze rested upon the mountain of flowers sitting upon the coffee table in the centre of the room. Bouquets and bunches filled the table, odd leaves littered the table, whilst stray petals were strewn around the area. All different genus and colour of flower covered the table; roses, lilies, pansies, daisies, tulips and the occasional orchid. She smiled sadly at the beautiful display. Mimi had said that people had stopped by with bunches of flowers for her, and she certainly wasn't kidding. Sora bent down to look at them, reading the little messages and get well soon cards pinned to them. Her wandering gaze met with the petals of a huge bouquet of deep red roses. She sniffed them, reaching out and stroking the velvet like petals. They were fresh. Possibly only brought here yesterday. Not today though, none had been delivered today. She picked up the bouquet, looking for the greetings card on it. Whoever bought this obviously had plenty of cash to spare, roses (especially ones this good quality) are expensive. She eventually reached the small rectangular card, nestled between the jungles of crimson petals. Tears reached her eyes as she read the words written in neat elegant letters:

_To Sora,_

_I hope the scars on your heart heal as fast as those on your feet. What imbecile would deny an angel such as you? For him to leave you like that, he deserves no sympathy, no ounce of love from your heart. I hope you recover from this little "incident", as soon as possible._

No name was written upon the card, no distinguishable writing, marks symbols…just a plain white rectangle of card, with a message written in fancy lettering…the kind florists use to write greetings. Whoever it was got the florist to write it. The same applied to another bunch of flowers, this bunch looked a bit older, as if it had been there a little longer than the roses. A bunch of slightly withered, but still rather beautiful, pure white tulips. The same plain white card, same handwriting, same structure of writing, same missing name:

_My dearest Sora,_

_My condolences, He was an idiot to break your heart, forget him. It'll all get better in time. _

_  
Thought I couldn't live without you  
It's gonna hurt when it heals too  
It'll all get better in time  
And even though I really love you  
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to  
It'll all get better in time  
_

_  
Since there's no more you and me  
It's time I let you go  
So I can be free  
And live my life how it should be  
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you  
Yes I will_

Thought I couldn't live without you  
It's gonna hurt when it heals too  
It'll all get better in time  
And even though I really love you  
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to  
It'll all get better in time

She sadly placed the flowers back on the coffee table, before turning in the direction of the bathroom. Wiping the tears away, she closed the bathroom door behind her, before leaning against it. She stood like that for a couple of seconds, to regain her composure. Pushing herself away from the door she removed her clothes, then started removing the bandages on her feet. Running the pad of her thumbs along the tender scabs on her soles, she winced. _He leaves scars on my soles. He leaves scars on my soul. _ The irony. She stepped into the shower, turning on the water.

_She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye  
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise  
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright  
For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight_

She must rinse this all away  
She can't hold him this way  
She must rinse this all away  
She can't love him this way

How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see  
She needs to be held in his arms to be free  
But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand  
'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man

She must rinse this all away  
She can't hold anybody this way  
She must rinse this all away  
She can't love him this way

And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed  
What could be the worse than leaving something behind  
And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow  
It's loneliness she finds...  
If only he was mine

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye  
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise  
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright  
For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

She must rinse him  
She must rinse him  
She can't rinse him  
She can't rinse him  
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him  
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him  
She must rinse this all away  
She can't hold him this way  
She must rinse this all away  
She can't love him this way

Letting the hot water wash over her, it felt like everything was being rinsed away. All the pain, all the heartache…washed away. Like a wave of relief, crashing down on her.

_All I know  
Is everything is not as it's sold  
but the more I grow the less I know  
And I have lived so many lives  
Though I'm not old  
And the more I see, the less I grow  
The fewer the seeds the more I sow  
_

Stepping out the shower, Sora wrapped a large fluffy towel around herself. It felt so warm, so soft…like _him._ _No Sora…you mustn't think like that. Try to forget. _Shaking the thoughts from her head, she dried herself off, before slipping on her underwear, a pair of French knickers and a bra. She cursed, as she realised she had brought no other clothes through with her, only underwear. She had also forgotten clean bandages for her feet, however she only realised this, when she noticed that her wounds had reopened slightly in the shower, and a small puddle of scarlet had accumulated upon the black and white bathroom tiles. Sighing at her own absentmindedness, she put the damp towel in the clothes hamper, mopped up the blood with a tissue. As she opened the bathroom door, wearing only her underwear, she walked back through into the living room. She was met by the fragrant smell of many different flowers wafting through the air. A few petals floated up into the air in the draft that she had created with the door. They danced in the sudden breeze; their brilliant colours shimmered and blazed. And through this haze, she saw it…or rather…_him._

_  
Then I see you standing there  
Wanting more from me  
And all I can do is try  
Then I see you standing there  
Wanting more from me  
And all I can do is try  
_

She gasped, her eyes widening whilst her heart rate increased.

"T..T..Tai?"

He was here? But…how? He was meant to be in New York. Why had he come back? All these questions swirled within Sora's already confused and hazy mind. She really didn't understand. Her world was spinning dangerously, and she was lost within it all. Everything suddenly became very blurry, as her eyes rolled back in their sockets. Tai watched in horror as the whites of Sora's eyes came into view, her body went limp as she started to plummet to the floor.

"Sora!!" He rushed to the red head's side, picking her off the floor and cradling her in his arms. She had blacked out. She seemed okay though. Her pulse was fine, and she had no injuries, except for her feet. Tai noticed the blood stained carpet where she had been standing. Cursing, he lifted her up off the floor.

_  
I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness  
And all the real people are really not real at all  
The more I learn, the more I learn  
The more I cry, the more I cry  
As I say goodbye to the way of life  
I thought I had designed for me  
_

Sora awoke to a tickling sensation on her feet. She sat up slightly, only to find herself lying on her couch, with a zip-up hoodie wrapped around her. She was only wearing underwear. Shit. She peered at the other end of the couch, where her feet were. She gulped at what she saw. The tickling sensation was none other than Tai. He was sitting on the couch, with her feet propped up on his knees, as he bandaged them delicately. _Tai. _What was he doing here?

"Tai?" she asked tentatively.

"Hmm? Oh hey you're awake." He spoke in a gentle whisper that made Sora's heart flutter. "You blacked out and your wounds must have reopened so…" he broke off blushing brightly, staring hard at his bandaging, hoping that if he concentrated hard enough, the tension might ease.

"…Thank you…but…" Sora spoke in barely a whisper, but he heard it. He looked at her, as she played with the sleeves of his hoodie, that he had wrapped around her, not daring to look him in the eye.

"…but, why are you back? Why did you return? I thought you wanted to go to New York? It was your opportunity, your chance to get out of here start again…" tears cascaded down her face, as she trailed off.

"I know. But there was something…something I couldn't bear to leave." He lifted her feet off his lap carefully and rose to his feet, looking her dead in the eye.

_  
Then I see you standing there  
wanting more from me  
And all I can do is try  
Then I see you standing there  
I'm all I'll ever be  
But all I can do is try  
Try_

"Oh no Tai…please Tai. You didn't come back…because of me?" Sora shook her head frantically at him. sure she was heartbroken and a bit mad at him, but the fact that he had turned down the chance of a lifetime, for her? That felt worse.

"Tai…I'm not worth that. It's only a few scars. Scars heal. I'm…I'm not worth it Tai. I'm worthless." She stood up, pain searing through her feet as she did so. She tried to run past him, tears flowing freely, only to be pulled back. The words _"I'm not worth it Tai. I'm worthless." _Echoed throughout Tai's head.

"NO YOU ARE NOT! DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT!" he bellowed at the top of his voice. How could she say that about herself? To him…she was perfect. She stopped sobbing, shocked by Tai's outburst.

"You're not worthless…" his voice had softened "you'll never be worthless to me. God Sora, it's me who's worthless, especially after what I said to you at the airport. I'm an idiot Sora. I feel like shit, because I…I broke your heart. You were hurt, both physically and emotionally, all because of…me. I'm so sorry Sora."

"It's not your fault Tai. I should have told you how I felt all those years ago, but I was so blind. I didn't realise what I might lose. But what you must understand is that I've always loved you. And for so long, I waited. I waited for you to tell me how you felt; I waited for you to make the first move." Her voice was strangled and wracked with sobs "I was stupid. I was like some stupid lovesick puppy, waiting around for you to say 'Sora, I love you.' But that day never came. So…I gave in. I had waited so long, and I feel like such an idiot for giving up, but it's hard Tai. Everyone was moving on, finding the one for them, making a move…and I was just…standing still. So I told myself to take a chance…and that chance happened to be Matt. But when you asked me out, I felt like a fool to throw it all away…but I also felt…as If you deserved better. I thought…if I moved on…so would you. But instead I broke your heart, and made a fool of myself. God Tai I'm sorry. I've always loved you, I never stopped. I'm not worth the time." Sora turned her head away, tears staining her face. He sighed.

__

All of the moments that already passed  
We'll try to go back and make them last  
All of the things we want each other to be  
We never will be  
And that's wonderful, and that's life  
And that's you, baby  
This is me, baby  
And we are, we are, we are, we are  
Free  
In our love  
We are free in our love

Lifting her chin with his finger, he looked deep into her eyes.

"You're always worth the time. I also never stopped loving you. But what **you **must understand is that I made some mistakes too. I should have told you years ago how I felt…but…I didn't have the courage. Yeah, I know. I'm meant to be the chosen of Courage, and yet I can't tell a girl 3 simple words…however, that is in the past. History, that we should always keep in mind…" he moved his face closer to hers, their noses now touching "but history nonetheless. And history is just that. The past, it cannot be changed, and must not be dwelt upon." He smirked at his own words, never had he felt more philosophical.

"Truer words were never spoken Taichi Kamiya." Sora smiled. It was the most beautiful thing to Tai, her smile.

"I guess I better say those 3 words now before anymore trouble starts. Sora **I love you. **Full heartedly and passionately."

"And I love you Tai, with all my heart, the purest form it takes." She smiled at him before turning away slightly, a deep blush taking over. He gently turned her face back round, before capturing her lips in a fierce, passionate kiss…a kiss born of pure love that had waited a **long **time. Pure love that would last even longer. Immensely longer.

Well there we go kids, done! Eventually. Sorry it took so long, but now I'm off for a kip.

Au Revoir mon petit fleurs !! x x x


End file.
